Apparently, there is “pre” labor, “active” labor, but also “false” labor. By anything but “active,” my doctor means, “incredibly painful contractions that aren’t quite close enough to merit a visit to the hospital.”

Today is Day 3 of regular contractions that aren’t actually getting me anywhere. 1 out of every 10 minutes is spent in agony as my gut clenches and gets ready to push the baby out. 9 of every 10 minutes are spent comfortably ensconced in my parents’ house, waiting for “real” labor to begin. Happy fun times, let me tell you.

In the meantime, Bertrand and I have been entertaining ourselves with my shiny new camera.

<3 <3 <3

Breakfast

My very pregnant shadow

Snack

Damn, I should eat like this every day.

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been creating life for 36 weeks now. Oh, I’m sorry, does the reference to “creating life” sound smug? That’s because it is! Smugness is my only defense against the frustration I’m feeling right now.

Accomplish one task everyday.

Advice to live by, given to Peace Corps Volunteers newly arrived in Benin. I discounted it then because I was in a situation where I could accomplish much much more. Today, with a belly the size of Alaska, achy joints, a lot of soreness, and no possibility of drugs to relieve the discomfort, I’m happy to get one thing done in a day, no matter how small.

Friday, I finished an online class AND applied for my diplomatic passport, AND went grocery shopping. Total walking = about 2.5 miles.

Saturday, I went to brunch AND went to Costco. Total walking = 1.5 miles. I’ve used a pedometer in Costco before, and some days we walk almost a mile inside! Yesterday, only half a mile.

Today, I brunched (again!) AND went to L.L.Bean. I didn’t get the waterproof boots I was hoping to get, as pregnancy swelling apparently has made my already-fat calves too fat for even L.L. Bean Wellies I wanted. I did, however, get some cold-weather baby clothes. I now have no more excuses to freak out about having a baby during an American winter.

I’ve been pretty laissez-faire about food during my pregnancy, focusing more on variety and getting a lot of fruits and vegetables, rather than paying attention to saturated fat and calorie content. Bertrand got some bad news in regards to cholesterol from the doctor the other day, and I’m now in the home stretch, so we’re going to start paying close attention to diet again.

Dinner was baked wings (B’s, pictured, were smothered in BBQ sauce), broiled sweet potato fries, and steamed broccoli sprinkled with delicious cheddar cheese. I probably could have done without following the healthy meal with pumpkin spice ice cream, but hey! pumpkin obsession!

Costco frozen pizza is superior to anything we can get delivered here in Crystal City. Yum. As spending time on my feet gets progressively more uncomfortable, we’re getting more and more enthusiastic about dinners that don’t require any effort to make. Like pizza and salad.

Last night we went to a good-bye party for some of my colleagues who are heading out to post this week. My burgeoning belly makes for great conversation, especially since I have no patience for glowing happy OMG pregnancy is AWESOME narratives. I’m uncomfortable. My legs hurt. My abs hurt. My groin hurts. And I can’t sleep through the night because I ALWAYS HAVE TO PEE.

On the other hand, I’m creating life, and that’s kind of awesome.

And here’s a bonus photo: Bertrand saw snow for the first time last weekend!

Liz was in town this weekend, and instead of spending a couple of days exploring DC, we holed up in my apartment and tested granola recipes. I’d made up my mind to make Christmas presents this year, but wasn’t sure if granola would be a) feasible time-wise and b) classy and pretty enough.

Trust me, it’s both.

We started the day with homemade pumpkin spice lattes, before getting to work!

My plan was to test 5 different recipes: pumpkin spice, apple cinnamin, vanilla blueberry, orange cranberry, and coconut almond. We got out lots of oats, flax, sweeteners, nuts, and dried fruits, before getting to work in my tiny kitchen. Yum.

Pumpkin spice was a success! I’d already found a great recipe, and knew how to modify it to make things a bit more … pumpkin-y. It turned out really well.

Before finishing up the apple cinnamon granola, we went out to lunch at a creperie in Pentagon Row.

Bertrand was disappointed to discover that his smoked salmon was actually a smoked salmon salad, but Liz and I had delicious delicious crepes.

By the time we got home, post lunch, grocery store, and beer run, I was exhausted! We were able to finish up the apple cinnamon and vanilla blueberry granolas before friends came over for dinner, but didn’t get to the last two on our list.

Bertrand made Beninese food for dinner, and we washed it down with pumpkin beer.

I’ve tried to convince him that he should write up his recipes, but he really doesn’t have any. He’s a good cook, but does everything by feel. He can’t tell me how much broth, salt, or oil he uses in anything at all. No Beninese cook I’ve ever met actually mesures. Everything is done by taste, smell, and feel. I wish I could cook like that!

Maybe you haven’t noticed this, but I’m a control freak. I’m a planner. The better I’m prepared, the better I can handle the unexpected and unpredictable when it happens.

At 32 weeks, I’m starting to worry. About everything. Ever-steady Bertrand is not. He never freaks out about anything, which is an excellent foil to my high-strung freak outs. My need to control is manifesting itself by an intense need to research, plan, and debate baby gear.

“Bertrand, do you think we need two strollers because the Bob’s going to be so bloody big? What are we going to do on the airplane?”

“Bertrand, you know how we’d decided we weren’t going to get a crib, because we’ll have the pack-n-play, and our stuff might not show up to Freetown for at least six months? Well, I want a crib.”

“Bertrand, how many bottles should we start out with?”

“Bertrand, how do you feel about feminine diaper bags, since you’re going to be at home with the baby for the first few months? Do you think you and I should have our own, or should we share?”

“Bertrand, do you think we ship baby food to Freetown, even though we spent $300 on a food processor so that I could make it myself?”

“Bertrand, do you think we have enough cold weather gear to get us through the 10 weeks before we leave for Freetown?”

“Bertrand! Bertrand! Bertrand!”

He listens to me, offers a well reasoned point of view, then hugs me and tells me that everything is going to be OK, no matter what equipment we buy or don’t buy. We keep reminding ourselves that babies grow up with no gear, no posessions, and no “stuff” all over the world, but dammit, we want things to be perfect for Lucky.

Also, baby gear is fucking adorable.

PeaPod, you are my new best friend. Not only can I get groceries delivered to my door, I can get them delivered before 8 in the morning on a weekend, which means that I can spend the morning cooking and the afternoon hanging out, instead of spending the morning grocery shopping, and the afternoon cooking.

First up! Pumpkin spice granola! I stuck to the tried and true 2 Peas and a Pod for this first-time-in-America batch. The recipe makes about 5 cups.

Second up! Pumpkin chocolate chip granola bars! Again, sticking to the tried and true.

Both of the recipes can be made without applesauce. For the granola, just up the pureed pumpkin. For the granola bars, substitute chopped apple that’s been simmered in sugar and cinnamon, and up the pureed pumpkin. I also added almonds to each to increase protein.

Third up! Delicious lunch. Roast beef on Russian bread, Granny Smith apples with almond butter, Baked Lays, string cheese, and some sort of pumpkin pastry I got from Whole Foods. Every lunch should be this delicious.

After eating, Bertrand and I headed out to the National Mall to get our sightseeing on.

We spent a few hours just wandering.

Dinner was a creamy lemon asparagus chicken pasta … thing. It was delicious, but the recipe needs some tweaking before I post it. Happy Labor Day!